I have five minutes, how much can I say.

First off, let me just say that one reason I have to post is that I feel like I must give Bridget something to read. And if she can find time to post, I'm sure I can, because I know she's one busy gal.

Secondly, I am knee deep in PhD applications. It's overwhelming! I haven't felt this way since applying to undergrad, oh so many years ago (9 years!!). Schools all over the place, and all of them I have to beg for some sort of early decision or general indication. We'll see how receptive they are.

I'm leading a field trip on Saturday to Robert Treman state park in Ithaca. 150 students. So nervewracking! I have fully accepted that it will be complete chaos, and have decided to ignore my impending doom. When the time comes, I will simply hold my nose and jump in the cold water.

Head TA is pretty cool, all in all. It's nice that I'm getting to know all the professors so well. Not that it comes with any respect from my peers, but respect from professors is always nice.

Okay, my five minutes is up. Off to hear Orrin Pilkey talk. Two crazy speakers in two days, this what makes geology fantastic.

aj

So apparently I'm a freaking slacker in all parts of my life.

I had decided about 2 months ago to apply for an award, which, by the way, is due today. I was away for the last 3 weeks and just returned on Tuesday, so I decided to do the application when I returned. Part of the delay is justifiable; until my return, I had no original data whatsoever.

However, I have come to realize that I will most likely do nothing more than embarrass myself if I turn this thing in. I have one page complete, and had thought that was nothing too terrible, until my semi-advisor pointed out I should really add about 4 more pages. There is no way I can complete 4 pages by the end of the day and still make it sound logical. So instead I'm blogging away my self-frustration.

In other news, though, I finally have data. Glorious, glorious data. It even looks like good, sensical data. And I did think of an original research idea, my first ever logical, sensical and damned good idea (if I do say so myself.) Let's see if I can pull it together...

 

Lots of dirt (above) and lots of pics. Oh yeah, and Bridget's ghetto fabulous style. 

This is a belated picture of my spring break trip with my Mom to NYC. I had a freakin awesome time, I really enjoyed having her visit. This is on Liberty Island (is that the name of the island that the statue is on? That's just my guess.

I'm officially done teaching for the semester, just have to finish up some grades. What's more, I've been named Head TA for next year, so I'm done teaching for over a year. Woohoo! I'm psyched about that one.

We had an Earth Sciences Symposium over the weekend, it was exhausting but great. Lots of participation, though I burned out on rocks by the end. I didn't think that was possible.

Most exciting recent development is that I finally have someone to play guitar with. He's a friend of a friend, but is quickly becoming my friend. He likes the same kind of music I do, and although he's certainly better than I am, he seems to not mind it. So summer is kicking off, and so is the guitar. The song of the moment is New Slang by The Shins. It makes me smile.

My cousin recently asked me to answer some questions about relationships and marriage for her school project. I spent so long thinking about it I decided to post my answers here. Maybe I should start writing self-help books? God knows, I love giving advice (whether you want it or not.)

1) What qualities are important in long term committed relationships?

Trust and love are the biggies. But it's also important to be interested in each other and have fun together. If, for example, you find the other person's occupation boring, you're never going to want to talk to them about a large part of their life. Also, it's important to have the same outlook towards money: does one save a lot and one spend a lot (that's bad), does one have credit card debt and one doesn't (bad) or do you both want to spend money on the same things (good) and agree on how much to save (good).


2) How do you know if it is the right person?

When the things that were previously scary about life, like death and getting old and crotchety, are no longer scary. When you think about being 90 with that person and it makes you happy.


3) What are some "red flags" or warning signs that it is not a healthy relationship?

Fighting isn't necessarily bad, but make sure it helps you grow, as a person and in your relationship, if it happens. If you fight and things don't get better, that's bad. Also, any sort of abuse (of course) both physical and emotional. The other person should make you feel like a good person, not a bad one. They should love you for who you are, and be willing to accept you that way; even if they try to change you in small ways, which everyone does whether they admit it or not, they should love you and accept you just as you are and not make you feel bad about your faults.
You should look forward to seeing that person and not feel any kind of dread or resentment.


4) What should be discussed and agreed upon before a couple makes a long term or lifetime commitment to each other?

Religion. Kids: not just whether to have them, but how many, when, and how you want to raise them. Also, is one of you going to stop working (at least for a while) when you have them? As they say, kids change everything. Also, moving. We're a very mobile society, and it's often necessary to move far in order to get a job you want. Are you both willing to do this? Only if the other person can get a job too?
And, of course, money.


5)How important is it that the couple share the same interests? goals? values? dreams? Why? Please elaborate.

VERY. I mentioned this in number one. Keep in mind that the two of you will always grow and change as you get older, even if you wish things would stay just as they are. Therefore it's important to grow and change in the same way. If you don't, then one of two things will happen: either you'll separate/divorce, or one (or both) of you will end up giving up things that are really important to you, and probably become bitter. Neither option is good. This could be anything; if one of you loves to travel and the other doesn't, one of you wants to be an active part of a church and the other doesn't, one of you wants to buy a house and the other wants to rent, one wants kids and one doesn't, etc.


6) What are the advantages of being married as opposed to living together?

Security. Being able to share finances without counting out who's paying for what. Being able to get something, like a dog or a car, and not thinking about who would get it if you break up. Just the feeling of trust that the other person is there for the long haul.


7) What are the disadvantages of being married as opposed to living together?

The only one I can think of is that if stuff doesn't work out, divorce is much tougher than simply moving out. This is especially true if you didn't know each
other for very long before you got married.


8) What are the advantages of living together as opposed to being married?

As far as I can tell, the only advantage comes if you end up deciding that's not the person you want to marry. Although living with Aaron was good, nothing has gotten worse since we've gotten married.
However, I would say that living together before getting married is generally a good idea. Specifically, living together with a goal towards marriage; so if you're already engaged or on the verge of it. Marriage is traumatic enough, but to compound that with moving in together right afterwards can make for a very rocky beginning. It's also good to know if the other person is going to make efforts at living together (if it drives you nuts when they leave dirty dishes in the sink, are they going to do better?) because this will give you a good idea on whether they're going to make efforts at a marriage, too.


9) What are the disadvantages of living together as opposed to being married?

If you're not really serious about each other, then a breakup is always possible. Which means that you have to deal with both a bad homelife, and a breakup. You
have nowhere to go if you breakup and the person still continues to live there. If they move out, you have to deal with the lease on your own or find a new roommate. If you're not super serious about each other, as in you would marry this person and they would marry you, then it can get very messy very quickly.
That being said, marrying someone that you're not serious about doesn't solve any of these problems. I guess the question I answered was really "How do you
know whether you should move in together?" Don't move in with someone unless you would marry them, even if the monetary incentives to do so are high.


10) If someone was seriously contemplating entering a lifetime/ long term committed relationship, what advice would you give them?

Don't forget to keep your own friends and interests. This will keep you healthy. Whatever the other person fell in love with about you is something you're doing
right, so don't stop doing it because you're in a relationship. Also, when you fight with the person (which you likely will) it's nice to have something to do and people to talk to that will help you feel better.
Also, keep in mind your personality when deciding. If you're a person who has a tough time deciding things, a true skeptic, then you may not need to wait until you're 100% convinced before taking the next step: maybe 95% convinced is enough. If, on the other hand, you tend to decide things quickly and sometimes regret them, then give yourself more time than you think you need to decide. And don't let the other person pressure you into something!

Mother in law woes...

So I've noticed that my mother in law (it sounds weird even saying that) and I don't speak the same language. I have the propensity to offend her unwittingly. She says "I'll take the roast out of the oven and pretend I know hot to carve it." I say "Don't worry, none of us know anything about it, so we'll think it's great."

It just comes out wrong. She hears "Lucky thing none of care very much, because your roast looks awful." At least, her look tells me that's what she hears, but since we don't speak the same language, it could really be "That color looks awful on you."

Easter was nice. I'm trying to teach Aaron not to smack my ass in front of his little brother. Because once, Dillon followed suit, which I don't think is appropriate. Either that or he'll start going around smacking the asses of other 9-year-old girls, also inappropriate.

I taught my sullen students today. They are soquiet, I can't them to speak! Ugh, I can't wait till this semester is over. Not my classes, just the teaching.

what a bummer week. connie, my advisor, is in the hospital and possibly out for the rest of the semester. i as yet have no idea what that means for me (way to be selfish about the whole thing.) anyway, not exactly sure why, but the whole thing has shaken me pretty badly.

i should be preparing for recitation. i led one on Monday which was awful. just awful. the subject is alternative energy, and they were supposed to debate the topic. they were so quiet!! how do you force students to talk? i haven't figured it out... other than to piss them off, which i don't like doing. so i finally said "i have nothing else to say, i guess you can go." halfway through class. should i bait them, and falsely say "we need to rely solely on renewable energy, no more fossil fuels!!" but i don't think they even care enough for that. man oh man, what a week.